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Cat's Logs - Week 35

Then there are the modern classic movies:

C.A.T. the Extraterritorial is a horror story where a completely alien being of the most hideous kind--nearly hairless, walking on only two of its paws and six feet tall--is found in the woods by a foolish kitten and brought back to her home. Once there, the alien takes over and declares itself lord and master.

A slightly older series is The Fat Cat. These classy mysteries involve Mick and Meora Charles who trade sophisticated innuendoes, strike suave poses and spend a lot of time at the water bowl.

In Catman, evil is no match for the title character, a courageous super hero who saves the known world by sleeping on the switch of a doomsday machine and ignoring all who ask him to move. When the police arrive, he decides to move to someplace less noisy, allowing the bomb squad to access and disarm the device.

When I daydream I often imagine myself in Catman's place, sleepily but bravely defending the world.

The alleged Princess enjoys a uniquely feline type of movie: the calm, quiet and uneventful.

Humans used to make similar movies, but they went out of style after the 1950's.

Veldt really loved Felinic, in which the largest ship ever built by a cat has a pleasantly sleepy and uneventful voyage across the pond to the home of the liver treat lady.

She was also inspired by Catma and Mewise in which two feline friends make themselves comfortable in their warm, safe home.

My favorites within this genre are:

Gotta go, the inspiration is making my eyelids heavy.

Tuesday, September 7, 1999

GlennaJo has forbidden me to discuss feline fast food as part of this series on our superior culture.

Like a typical human, she has labeled this most joyful and fun aspect of our lives as unsuitable for children.

Suffice it to say that the faster the food, the more exciting the chase and the sweeter the victory.

If you know what I mean.

Wednesday, September 8, 1999

A decade or two ago, humans suddenly discovered "body language."

We cats invented body language centuries ago.

A good feline stretch can mean anything from "life is w o n d e r f u l !" to "I'm stalling--it's much more fun than cooperating."

Really skillful stretchers not only avoid obedience, but actually form their bodies into a tripping device to teach alertness to unwary attendants.

There's also an ancient legend about a calico cat who stretched herself across the whole dome of the heavens and was immortalized in the rainbow.

One of my favorite tricks is a really slow stretch followed by instant disappearance behind the furniture.

Fools GlennaJo every time.

Kneading is another way cats use their bodies to communicate.

Kneading can mean several things:

I've taught GlennaJo to "knead" in unison with me. She thinks she taught me, which is too ridiculous for words.

Fortunately, GlennaJo's "kneading" looks enough like spider walking that I can pretend to misunderstand and go into attack mode.

It's a rare human behavior that yields no amusement.

Cats also like to rub on people's legs.

When your own cat rubs on your leg, it means, "I am marking you as my territory," or "your pant leg has that irritating new stuff smell."

When someone else's cat rubs on your leg, it means, "Oh yeah?"

Being marked as territory by a cat is a great honor reserved for people, sofas, chairs, floors, and many other animals and objects.

Marking guests who don't live with cats is the most fun, with the promise your scent could linger for weeks in a strange new territory.

Hmmm, that sofa smells like it needs work.

Purring is a common and greatly misunderstood bit of body language.

Humans, in their typical arrogant way, interpret it as meaning, "I love you," which just proves they don't get it.

Purring can mean a variety of things:

Regardless of its meaning, purring can have an almost medicinal effect on humans.

Dr. Prince's fee is a dozen liver treats, please.

Chats
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Squirt
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