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Cat's Logs - Week 34

Humans are very proud of their opposable thumbs as though they'd thought the whole thing up themselves.

But no hand can compare to the feline mouth for utility and expressiveness.

Compare the human fist to a cat's bared teeth. It's like comparing a big crude boulder to a surgeon's knife. But there are many more subtle communications.

I often grasp GlennaJo's hand during play, firmly but without breaking the skin, in an effort to say, "enough, already." Of course, what any feline would comprehend instantly has eluded GlennaJo through 2,476 games. And she persists in continuing until I vacate the area.

Which sometimes leads to another type of dental demonstration ...

My recent emphasis on communication has finally helped GlennaJo expand her repertoire!

Five times in the past week, she has looked at me with her eyelids half closed.

Of course, each time the gesture indicated something completely different, but based on her words and actions immediately before and after, she's trying to say, "please get off the couch now."

What she actually said was:

Comedy is inherent in the human condition.

Tuesday, August 31, 1999

No view of feline culture would be complete without a discussion of the cinema.

Of course, you humans believe that there were no movies before yours and that there are no movies besides yours. But you didn't even invent the disaster movie - check out these feline offerings:

The Flood - Horrific disaster film about felines forced to evacuate their flooded home and run to higher ground through a half inch of water.

The Earthquake - The feline population of a small town on a faultline predict a quake two days in advance, mention it to humans who ignore them completely, break out of their homes, and watch from the safety of a distant mountain as the town collapses into the earth. The impact of the disaster is apparent as the felines struggle to find satisfactory new homes.

The Tropical Storm - A family of cats races from building to building as shelter is repeatedly torn away from above them allowing rain to dampen their fur.

The Fire - A resourceful cat wakes his attendant and leads her to the door so she can let him out before fire engulfs their dwelling.

And then there's my current personal disaster - An empty liver treat bowl.

Wednesday, September 1, 1999

Another popular type of movie is the comedy.

Our comedies are rich and multi-layered, bringing deep truths about the feline condition to light where they can be admired.

In Three Toms and a Kitten, the obnoxious youngster steals the show, climbing drapes, throwing dishes on the floor and chewing on the Thanksgiving turkey. Junior learns the valuable lesson, "I'm too cute to discipline," as the toms are blamed again and again.

Another domestic comedy is The Cat Under the Stairs in which ambush artist Tom Catterling attacks a variety of species as they walk past the stairway.

The recent hit musical People involves a group of cats who spout typical human nonsense while wearing suits that make them look like caricatures of humans.

I get enough human nonsense at home, thank you.

Young toms and kits delight in horror movies.

The best of the past year is I Know What You Didn't Do Last Summer, in which a cat who sensibly moves very little and naps through the heat of summer is mercilessly harassed by a human.

Another movie considered to be of the horror genre by some is Felinic Park. In this movie giant felines of a variety of breeds wreak havoc on a human amusement park. I found this movie to be lots of fun.

Even more controversial is Field of Mice. While I'm told the rodent viewers consider this movie to be one of the goriest and most horrible movies ever made, it's actually a fun romp in the sunshine with nonstop action.

To an adult feline, this type of movie is slightly less horrifying than damp fur.

We felines also relish adventure movies.

Claw Wars is set in the distant future, where a mad feline scientist creates a bomb that will rid the world of dogs. The feline hero braves all opposition to prevent the scientist from setting it off.

My favorite cinematic adventure is Nappers Near the Lost Ark. In this movie, a troop of young felines finds the trek to the lost Ark so exhausting they take a long nap. Afterward they are so sleepy that they cannot remember the Ark's exact location.

But I can really relate to the hero of Cat Alone 2. He's at home ensuring he gets plenty of sleep when two burglars start making a lot of noise and rearranging the house. It's all he can do to stay asleep until they finally leave!

There's no adventure that can't be improved by a warm, quiet, dry environment.

Many serious feline movie directors explore the complex social issues that arise in multi-cat situations.

In Little Catlings, two young cats growing up in a tough neighborhood race to see who can start a family first.

Three's Two Too Many deals with young felines, trapped in an apartment together, trying to establish territories and get along. All the while trying to avoid the "landlord" who wants to make sure they don't develop really close relationships.

Terms of Indifference involves two cats in the same house who establish mutually exclusive territories.

These can be distressingly realistic movies.

In fact, right here at GlennaJo's the alleged Princess IS an unnecessary social issue.

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