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Cat's Logs - Week 26

I think it's very ironic that humans have named today "Independence Day."

The species that brought us dress codes, the 60s revival, and political correctness obviously doesn't know what independence is.

Cats, on the other hand, have a long history as champions of individual freedoms.

Consider these samples from the Feline Bill of Rights:

And the basis for my recent pawsuit against GlennaJo:

The siege continues.

And instead of dealing with the flea problem, GlennaJo is back to grooming me--her latest effort involving this white powder.

I understand that show cats are powdered on show days and I appreciate the fact that she's acknowledging my royal lineage. But we have a far more pressing problem here, and I'm miserable enough from the flea infestation without being tortured with a brush, too.

Oh, great! Now she's spreading powder on the furniture.

This flea thing must have made her flip out completely.

Monday, July 6, 1999

The flea population is dying off.

What tremendous luck!

I mean, it's not like my attendant fulfilled her responsibilities--going off on a grooming kick at the moment of crisis.

And that powder she groomed me with stinks and tastes icky.

At least the fleas didn't interfere with my scent scheme.

Wednesday, July 7, 1999

Here are some excepts from the daily affirmation notebook created by one of my friends:

I, as a sleeping cat, am highly esteemed and admired.

I, as a sleeping cat, represent the epitome of health and fitness.

I, as a sleeping cat, am master of my environment.

I, as a sleeping cat, demonstrate deep and rich spirituality.

I myself prefer fewer and more active affirmations:

I, as a stretching cat, demonstrate flawless mastery of all that is important in life.

After looking over my library for inspiration, here are some samples from the Feline Dictionary by Clawster.

• Attendant=Slave.
• Bed=Site for sleeping.
• Catnip=Ultimate form of plant life.
• Chair=Site for sleeping.
• Common=Dog.
• Couch=Site for sleeping.
• Floor=Site for sleeping.
• Ignoramus=Human being.
• Insect=Small Prey.
• Lap=Unstable site for sleeping.
• Mouse=Prey.
• Perfection=House Cat.
• Royalty=Feline.
• Sunshine=Happiness

My favorite?

Prince=A being of flawless majesty, ultimate spirituality, infinite intelligence, and optimal physique.

Some people have implied that I, myself, am using Clawster as a pen name.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

While a close personal friend, Clawster is definitely not me.

Now that we've taken care of that, here are some entries from Feget's Thesaurus:

I rest my case.

Now let's take a look at Panda Nally's atlas.

My favorite section is the two-page article on Prince's Playground.

What? You don't think that my personal territory is important enough to warrant a two-page spread in a published atlas? How ignorant you humans are.

In the first place there is no such thing as an unimportant feline, and in the second place with my own web site, I am a leader among my people. True, my site caters to humans, which is frowned upon by the fastidious, but I view myself as bridging the gap between feline wisdom and human misunderstanding.

A major construction project.

Chats
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Squirt
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