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Cat's Logs - Week 25

My side is really sore!

Only a human could fail to see a 20-lb cat sleeping peacefully on the floor.

At least I have the consolation that she tripped and hit her leg on the chair.

GlennaJo couldn't see her nose in front of her face.

If my paw wasn't sore from the little "accident" last night, I'd be dialing the ASPCA over tonight's outrage.

Here we are in the middle of a hot, muggy Minnesota summer and what does GlennaJo decide to have for dinner? Home baked pizza.

In the winter, turning on the oven is practically an attendant's duty in order to provide a snug, toasty feline environment. But in the summer, it's cruel and unusual punishment--and I didn't even do anything!.

At least, unlike last night, she apologized for her crime and turned the therm'stat down a couple extra degrees to be sure the air conditioner runs for awhile.

One season's comfort is another season's torture.

Monday, June 29, 1999

I had an opportunity to play one of my favorite games today.

Earring Under the Dresser is a fun and educational game that can last for several weeks.

The prerequisite is your attendant carelessly leaving her jewelry out where you can reach it.

The first payoff is watching the human racing around like a crazy thing looking for the missing item, followed by you being blamed because you're nearby and don't choose to talk back, followed by an apology (hee hee) due to being blamed "unfairly."

To get the most mileage possible out of this game, you need to wait a few days and then push the other earring to the floor where even a human attendant can't miss it. This causes momentary excitement ("My lost earring!!") followed by disappointment and often (here's where the educational part comes in) a demonstration of colorful human language.

GlennaJo says I'm in the doghouse tonight.

Apparently she reads while she types and was not amused about her earring.

I pointed out there is no canine or related structure on the premises and she said it's a figure of speech.

I've seen the figures of Liberty and Uncle Sam, but the Figure of Speech is new to me.

I asked GlennaJo what it looks like and she just laughed at me.

Ever notice how your attendant is most affectionate when soaking wet?

GlennaJo was wet through when she came home today and had the bad manners to share her affliction.

Seems Minnesota has been serving up a lot of rain storms lately. In fact, humans seem to have developed a whole mythology about the rain.

Today, I had to listen to a tall tail about rain that moved sideways. Everyone knows rain comes from the sky.

Leave it to humans to come up with an alternate "scientific" theory.

Humans say cats don't respond to correction, but that only goes to show their ignorance.

The Book of Feline Proverbs is filled with excellent advice concerning criticism and correction. Here are some of my favorites:

And then there's my personal philosophy:

Fleas!

We've been invaded!

Due to several winters in a row with very few really cold days, the bug population here in the land of 10,000 lakes is booming.

Up 'til today this has been a wonderful hunting bonanza, greatly enhancing the quantity and quality of indoor game.

But these fleas are a different matter entirely--nasty blood sucking things.

Just call me the fluffy vampire slayer.

Chats
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Squirt
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