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Cat's Logs - Week 23

The Songbird Position is a favorite of mine.

Spreading your shoulders as a bird spreads its wings, your spirit is able to soar above the everyday hassles of life and break through to health and wisdom.

Imagine a bird, peacefully bathing in a birdbath, blissfully unaware of the sheer power and ruthlessness lying in wait for an unguarded moment. Suddenly, a movement in the bushes, a flicker of wings, the bird escapes.

Don't drink and drive--you never know when you'll need perfect reflexes.

The Houseplant Position is nice for a change of pace.

Your legs bend and cross like a jungle vine, tail close to your body, clearing your mind of all logical thought and fueling your creativity.

I turn to this position when I feel bogged down in the details of the day and need variety and refreshment.

Don't shake the baby--shake out your muscles and make like a plant.

Monday, June 15, 1999

Of course I, personally, never do the Mouse Position.

It's a position in which the timid animal feels right at home. There's an appearance of calm and yet all four feet are planted firmly on the ground, ready for a fast getaway.

Cats do the mouse when they hear the vacuum cleaner start up or when a 2-year-old starts tottering toward them saying, "Kit-ty, kit-ty, kit-ty."

While the mouse position enhances clarity of mind and maximizes your hearing, it doesn't really enhance your relaxation.Stop the violence--be meek as a mouse.

Wednesday, June 16, 1999

It's hard to beat the Goldfish Position.

With feet and tail held firmly together, it's easy to imagine yourself swimming through a huge peaceful sea of relaxation. Just as the goldfish can go in any direction, including up, with a simple flick of the tail, so your mind is free to explore spiritual realms.

I often do the goldfish in honor of a particularly tasty seafood dinner.

Avoid unwanted pets--practice feline family planning.

Someone suggested I demonstrate the Employee Position.

I most certainly will not. Cats earn their keep in subtle ways, not by making a big production of getting dressed in the morning, hiding one's natural scent with perfumes and worse, and going outside in a noisy, stinky vehicle that shakes you up.

If more people focused on being friendly and decorative instead of being "successful," I think the world would be a better place.

Adopt some decoration for your home--visit an animal shelter today.

When I'm practicing fe-oga, I often meditate on my pet peeves.

The first is GlennaJo's unfortunate tendency to put the toilet bowl cover down.

Sure, a fresh bowl of water is appreciated and has its uses, like storing small prey, cleaning litter off my paws and sprinkling on the kitchen floor. (One of life's little amusements is watching GlennaJo try to figure out where the small puddle of water came from--!and what it is!--once the path to the bowl has evaporated.)

But nothing can compare to the toilet bowl for freshness and interesting bouquet.

Another pet peeve, of course, is inappropriate vacuuming.

The following guide is suitable for printing and posting in your attendant's cleaning closet:

Do vacuum when:

• A strange animal has left its scent in the house.
• You spill clean deodorizing litter on the carpet.
• A guest has shed his pet's hair onto the carpet and/or furniture.
• Guests who try to convince you to give up your cat are coming soon.

Don't vacuum when:

• Your cat has just created a new scent scheme.
• Your cat has carefully decorated the carpet with a pattern of litter.
• Your cat has used his sheddings to add padding to his favorite chair.
• Cat lovers are coming to visit.

A quiet home is a happy home.

Chats
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Squirt
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