Last Week
May Entries
June Entries
1999 Entries

Cat Quiz
Cat's Log
Cat-Tune Cookie
ESFe
Prince's Page
Webrings

Stretch Kelley
17 in x 13 in
Buy This Print

The Cat's Pet
16 in x 24 in
Buy This Print

Cat's Logs - Week 21

One of my friends was explaining the odd identification methods humans have come up with to make up for their poor sense of smell.

Apparently they have lots of numbers, user IDs and passwords they have to remember in order to do anything.

One of the big weaknesses of using artificial IDs instead of your natural scent is that someone else can steal your identity, run up debts in your name, and even get your driver's license revoked (licensing is another odd human habit).

We cats never have these problems. We don't run up debts, and we more than repay our attendants for the food, water and space we use by purring and looking decorative.

I sure hope GlennaJo doesn't get the bright idea of making me use an ID and password to access my food.

They tell me today is called Memorial Day.

"Memorial" is like memories, and this is a day to remember those who died in wars defending the United States.

As I understand it, war is what happens when people don't negotiate successfully. Perhaps they should try the feline method.

First you approach slowly in a non-aggressive way and allow the other party to sniff you. Often you can decide to share territory, at least temporarily.

If that results in a hostile reaction and you really need to proceed, you puff out your hair, arch your back, bare your teeth, hiss your loudest and generally make yourself as big and scary as possible. This usually convinces the other party that a fight is not a great idea.

If the other party is unimpressed, consider whether it is really necessary for you to be here. If not, walk away nonchalantly as though the territory is not worth fighting for. Should the other party attack, there's no alternative to a fight, but both parties usually get hurt and nobody really wins.

I think if people spent more time sniffing each other and less time hissing there would be a lot fewer wars.

This is so much fun.

GlennaJo read in a magazine that self grooming can be a sign of stress and now every time I lick myself she gets worried.

Usually she's so wrapped up in her 'puter she doesn't even notice when I jump up next to her or leave the couch. This is unchanged.

But now I have only to move my mouth toward my paw and she's all attention.

They're so cute when they're worried. You can see the gears (s l o w l y) turning as she reviews her actions looking for the offending move.

And she's poking and petting me less, too. Hmm, maybe now's a good time for a little training.

I haven't been this clean since the sprinkler incident.

I hear some people are saying I'm mean to GlennaJo.

Sure, I like to keep her on her toes worrying about my health, possible injuries, inappropriate use of flower pots and stress, but I think when you look at the whole picture you'll see I provide a significant net benefit.

Wow! GlennaJo's even luckier to have me than I realized.

Right in the middle of my nap, GlennaJo decided she wanted to play.

You know how insistent humans can be, dangling things in your face until you take a half-hearted swat, calling it play, and then dangling them in your face again.

As part of my interest in anthropology, I try to keep up on all their myths about what cats like to play with. Did you know there's a whole industry dedicated to creating items cats touch once and then ignore?

I have a theory these objects are more than mere toys, taking on a quasi-religious significance once the cat has touched them. That's why humans place them together in a bowl or box each time they vacuum.

My theory is further strengthened by my observation that when one of these objects is found under the furniture the human becomes excited, loudly calling it to the resident cat's attention and attempting to get the cat to touch it again.

Usually without success.

Some have accused me of saying cats don't like to play.

That is ridiculous. Of course we superior beings have the ability to enjoy a game as much as the next species, but we need the right incentive.

Personally, I feel a game must provide an opportunity to use my teeth, preferably in a way that is normally forbidden.

My favorite game is "thing under the covers." GlennaJo "walks" her hand around under the covers (throwing in a few scratching special effects). I pounce upon the hand through the covers first, and then to ensure she's lulled into a sense of safety, reach under the covers and gently pat her hand with my claws sheathed. Then the payoff!

And best of all, I've convinced her this game is the key to a close relationship, so she asks me to play every day.

Sometimes the things humans say are very confusing.

This morning GlennaJo said I was whipping around the house like a whirlwind. What does she mean by that? Tornadoes are destructive; I fly by so lightly I barely even touch the furniture.

Yesterday, she said I was creeping around the place like a mouse. Aside from the obvious inferior species slam, is she saying I chew through plastic bags? Even she knows better than that.

Then look at her pet name for me: "Bear." Am I am large lumbering forest dweller who goes crazy for honey? I think not.

And only a human would accuse someone who can't swim of being a sea slug.

Chats
20 in x 24 in
Buy This Print

Squirt
18 in x 24 in
Buy This Print