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Cat's Logs - Week 17

It's getting warm in the house now and it's hard to be my usual affectionate self.

GlennaJo keeps looking at me with those sad puppy eyes, but I can't stand close encounters of the hot and sweaty kind.

I hate to admit it, but if there's a flaw in my magnificent physique, it's the abundance of hair. It makes humans what to hug and kiss me, mats up and can get pretty hot.

How come I slept in the sunshine all morning if it's so hot?

Sunshine doesn't sweat.

GlennaJo abandoned me for hours and hours today.

She's been hanging out in my personal space for the past nine days, poking me, prodding me, rubbing my neck, scritching my ears, telling me I'm the most handsome, wonderful cat in the world. I couldn't WAIT for her vacation to end.

Today I was FREE!!!! I climbed on the dining table, walked on the bookshelf, slept in the laundry and redecorated the house with my signature fragrance.

Then there was nothing left to do for 8 hours until GlennaJo came home.

Please, GlennaJo, come in and play.

GlennaJo says I'm a very 'pinionated cat.

She says cats are supposed to spend their time sleeping, not thinking.

It's just like a human to assume that if you're not interacting with them you're not doing anything.

In fact, all that interacting gets in the way of serious meditation, which is probably why humans are so unobservant. Most nights GlennaJo is so busy with her 'puter she doesn't even notice when I jump up next to her or when I leave.

She also doesn't observe lots of other interesting things I do ...

Now they tell me I can't go to Matt's wedding.

I'm a bit of an amateur anthropologist and was looking forward to seeing that primitive human ritual first hand. My friends tell me it's much longer and more involved than the ones on TV.

The invitation was for GlennaJo and a guest, so I began preparing to look my best by getting a couple extra hours sleep every day.

Then I'm told I can't go, and their reason? "You're a cat."

What could be more appropriate at a wedding than an intelligent and cultured individual like myself?

It's just like humans to make a decision based on appearances and then provide an illogical reason to justify it.

GlennaJo will share her home and food with me, and even lets me sleep on the bed, but she refuses to add me to her checking account.

When I asked to be included, she asked why, and I shared my need for a deluxe kitty (sic) condo.

All my friends have them. They didn't need access to an attendant's checking account. They didn't even need to ask. They were given condos out of respect and affection.

So here I am, a stranger in a strange home, with not even a chair to call my own, while my friends are sitting high in the air right in front of the window enjoying the sunshine.

Cruelty, thy name is GlennaJo.

Many humans ask, "Does my cat know he/she is loved?"

In general, we felines realize we are irresistibly lovable and expect that everyone loves us. This leads to the occasional disappointment (GlennaJo's mother treats me like walking furniture), but it's usually accurate.

Humans just cannot be expected to display the full range of feline emotions. Also, they are:

Love means never having to say, "I'm hungry."

GlennaJo won't fly me to California to see my Mother.

I patiently explained that I haven't seen her since I ran away from home as a feenager of 18 months. Due to my recent meditations and self-evaluation, I've decided it's very important to find her now so she can see the magnificent beast I have become.

After all, the purpose of Mothers Day is for mothers everywhere to have an opportunity to reflect on the virtues and successes of their offspring.

What! Are you sure? Apparently some species consider Mothers Day to be a time for meditating on the virtues and successes of mothers and thanking them for all their love and support.

If anyone sees my Mom, give her my love (and let her know where to look on the web to see her greatest success).

Chats
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Squirt
18 in x 24 in
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