Last Week
April Entries
May Entries
1999 Entries

Cat Quiz
Cat's Log
Cat-Tune Cookie
ESFe
Prince's Page
Pet Advisories

Stretch Kelley
17 in x 13 in
Buy This Print

The Cat's Pet
16 in x 24 in
Buy This Print

Cat's Logs - Week 16

Now I'm supposed to be responsible for GlennaJo's blood pressure.

Aren't you humans ever satisfied?

We felines decorate the house, provide intelligent companionship, and give you a purpose for living.

We warm beds and other furniture, provide an interesting scent scheme for the home, and give the neighbors something nice to talk about by sitting in the window.

And now you attendants want medical benefits too?

Look, GlennaJo, I'm trying to write my diary here.

For the last time, I did NOT hide in the corner this morning. I could see that the deliveryman was bringing a really big box into the house and I walked over to the corner under the glass table to make sure he didn't trip over me and hurt himself.

I hurried really fast out of consideration for his safety and also I didn't want you to get sued and not have enough money for cat food.

Sometimes I think you purposely misinterpret my actions.

GlennaJo's corner: The bigger they are the faster they hide.

That spoil sport GlennaJo tore down my fort this morning.

It was perfect. Four feet tall and six feet wide with plenty of space for my regal physique. Centrally located in the dining room, I was able to run into it every time GlennaJo requested the honor of my presence.

And now it's just a couple bags of cardboard, it's majesty never to be seen again.

Then I added architectural detail and creature comforts to the the bed. I knew GlennaJo was too busy to spend time arranging it and was trying to help. She apparently took my commentary on her decorative skills personally, and quickly returned it to its usual flat and boring style.

I can't understand the lack of respect humans have for truly magnificent architecture.

I am so sick of hearing GlennaJo hack and cough.

It has always been my contention that a good attendant is seen (rarely) and not heard. But GlennaJo's been filling the house with her annoying and repetitive noises.

Now when I get a tickle in my nose, all you hear is one or two brief, gentlemanly snorts. Every cat I know continually hopes that his or her attendant will learn good manners by example, but unfortunately such breakthroughs are rare.

I keep sending mental messages to GlennaJo with suggestions like vaporizers, coffee, plenty of fluids and, as always, plenty of sleep, but so far it's falling on deaf ears.

Ah well, liver treats cover a multitude of sins.

Today I spent much of my time in meditation and self-evaluation.

I rated myself a 10.

At 20 lbs with minimal fat, sporting a shiny luxuriant coat, with perfect features and huge soulful green eyes, the physical excellence of me does indeed justify that rating.

But under that magnificent surface, lies a cat who is a 10 in every way. My powerful intellect, deep spirituality and regal mien infuse my every action. When awakened from a nap, I am gracious and patient, and my hunting skills are legendary.

But being perfect isn't easy. Sufficient sleep is one of the secrets of my success, as are frequent nutritious meals and an independent spirit.

Self-examination can be very gratifying.

Apparently GlennaJo thinks yesterday's entry was pretty funny.

Every time she notices me she either says, "Look at the physical excellence," or, "It's the magnificence of Prince."

I couldn't agree more strongly with her words, but I find the accompanying snickering very offensive.

Now there's an example. My sleeping is only one of MANY excellent characteristics. And it's a quality you, GlennaJo, would do well to cultivate--maybe then you'd be more perceptive and less crabby.

Some people don't know magnificence when it bites them.

GlennaJo has finally realized I'm more than a handsome, intelligent, soulful, generous face.

My skills as a masseuse are legendary.

With a purr so powerful it can be heard next door, cramped muscles are putty in my paws.

Of course, GlennaJo rested her sore shoulder next to me for a total of 0.32345 minutes and then jumped up and started doing the keyboarding that caused the cramp in the first place.

Maybe next time I'll try kneading with my cla..., I mean paws.

You can lead a human to relaxation, but you can't make her rest.

Chats
20 in x 24 in
Buy This Print

Squirt
18 in x 24 in
Buy This Print