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Cat's Logs - Week 11

The "Spring dominance struggle" (con) appears to be a complete success with GlennaJo (believing she's) the head of the house.

Now I can expand to Phase 2--11 months of peace and joy within the household (World Dominion).

Because, you know, when humans and felines live together in harmony that is in the best interest of both species. Humans get intelligent companions and intellectual conversations and felines get the gourmet food they deserve (Felines of the World Unite).

And humans do a good job of heading up households, going to work every day to support the rest of the family and taking responsibility for housing all of us and keeping us safe (Down with Primates).

Yes, indeed, true joy and happiness comes only through peace and mutual respect.

Ha, ha, ha. Ha ha ha ha. Funny joke yesterday, huh?

Yes, GlennaJo, I knew that humans can see much better than felines and the gray print in yesterday's column that I could barely read would be clearly visible to them. It was a joke. A funny, funny joke. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Of course my real message is peace and harmony between our species working together to create a beautiful and safe world for our mutual benefit.

But you must admit it was funny, wasn't it? Ha. Ha.

Keep reading, feline friends, for more developments.

Allow me to digress from the funny, funny ridiculous jokes about cats taking over the world and demonstrate just how irrational GlennaJo can be.

She's been on this Spring grooming kick for the last two weeks, and I've had just about enough of it.

Tonight she kept brushing and brushing--she thinks as long as hair collects on the brush the job isn't done. I don't think she'll be happy 'til she pulls it all off!

So tonight she tells me what the big payoff for all this misery will be: it won't hurt to be brushed anymore!?!

I think I've found our rallying cry.

My role as corporate asset now appears to include sound bites as well as photo shoots.

GlennaJo wanted some cat sounds. She was dangling liver treats near the microphone hoping to get me to beg, but I'm not about to fall for something like that, at least not before nabbing several tidbits. I made a couple sounds then, once she clicked on the recorder, I silently watched the weird motions she was making with the treats.

This strategy worked for about 3 liver treats and then came the big payoff. She went into the kitchen and got catnip. I made a bit of a fuss over that and she got her recording. I figure, in true Pavlovian fashion, if she wants future sounds she'll head straight for the weed.

I think these sound bites have potential.

It has come to my attention that many cats enjoy being groomed.

Fortunately, it has also come to GlennaJo's attention so today she tried out a brush with plastic bristles that fits in the palm of her hand.

It's almost like being petting and, to my surprise, it felt so good that I purred and purred and was very disappointed when she stopped.

So, it's back to the drawing board on the rallying cry, but I must fulfill my destiny!

I'm having very mixed feelings about GlennaJo tonight.

On one hand, she did share a bit of her roast beef with me and it tasted mighty fine.

On the other hand, she decided the nice skritchy plastic brush just isn't doing the job and pulled out lots and lots of mats with the nasty wire brush to prove it.

Back on the first side, she finally realized it's the fishing rod part of the toy I like to play with, not the stupid feather that tickles my nose, and we had a bit of fun.

My attendant; think I'll keep her.

GlennaJo lives to spoil my fun.

I had the "princess" in my sights, gearing up for a truly impressive leap, when GlennaJo got out what she insists on calling, "Mr. Waterbottle." GlennaJo blames the water bottle for all her petty little rules. For example, not marking her shoes and boots as my territory even though they reek of other animals. Gimme a break! You can see her pull the trigger before each squirt.

I bided my time, and the prin-brat made it safely to the couch next to GlennaJo. Then GlennaJo had the nerve to tell me that not only does she protect the alleged princess from being jumped on by me, she protects me from being jumped on by her.

As if I'd even feel that eight pound munchkin.

Chats
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Squirt
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