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Cat's Logs - Week 3

GlennaJo says I'm a valuable corporate asset.

Gee, I thought, my importance around here is finally being recognized. Then I found out that being a corporate asset involves photo shoots. You may think a photo shoot is glamorous, so I'm here to give you the straight dope. First they brush you until your hair sits flat, no matter how long that takes. Then you're picked up and placed somewhere you never sit--in today's example, the bookshelf near the window which I have refused to go near since a month ago when GlennaJo, with much fanfare, cleared if off so I'd have a comfortable place to watch birds.

[And, of course, you think you're the perfect model, right?] (Handsome, debonair, with a magnificent build, what more do you want?) [How about posing before the flash goes off rather than after?] (I have no idea what you're talking about.) [So you deny looking at me every time until the flash went off and then immediately looking out the window and perking up your ears as though there were something interesting out there?] (I don't know what you're talking about.)

Sometimes it's hard to keep a straight face during conversations with humans.

Today was a lazy day for me.

My foot is hurting a little bit, so I'm not as active as usual. [Which is about as active as a sea slug on a slow day.] (This from the woman who makes a major production of dragging her body up from the couch.) Anyway, I just took it easy and got plenty of sleep. Had to recover from that photo shoot yesterday.

Hmmm, maybe if I have foot problems after every photo shoot ...

I'm feeling better today.

Stalking the huge, horrible, venomous thing in the kit... [That will be enough of that. And I'd say it's more like lying down and watching than stalking.] (Us pros are very subtle.) [Yeah, that sea slug imitation must fool 'em every time.)

Anyway, I've been keeping an eye on the mystery prey in the kitchen, and I almost made it onto the basement steps, but GlennaJo threatened to throw water ["sprinkle" is more commonly used when referring to 2 ounces] on me, so I rested at the top of the stairs.

Oh, great, GlennaJo is attempting to lure me into a photo shoot by taking the camera down the stairs and waiting for me to check out the open door.

Suffice it to say that the photo shoot will be a non-event in the truest sense of the word.

I'm feeling fine today, but don't tell GlennaJo.

I spent an hour napping on the dining room table and crawled in several paper bags. Then I knocked her earring (one only) off the dresser and pushed it underneath where she might find it some day. In fact, I had so much fun today that when GlennaJo came home I was resting and did the "where's the cat; I know I have a cat" greeting.

GlennaJo appeared concerned even though my paw is completely back to normal and I look great. What an opportunity. I did go to the kitchen and beg very effectively for turkey snacks [you are what you eat], but otherwise, I've been pretty still tonight. It's driving GlennaJo crazy. She keeps looking at my paw, then looking at my eyes, saying my eyes look bright and the paw's not swollen, then pretending she's not worried. I'm not fooled--I've really got her going on this.

Oops, my cover is blown. I just can't resist that laser pointer.

Thursday, January 28, 1999

Tonight I was chasing the silent prey that's so fast I can never touch it.

Every time GlennaJo moves that gray tube, the prey moves, too, so I figure they're related. But maybe the prey's just real skittish. Every so often the prey goes into a fold of the bedspread and disappears, but then when I go to investigate, I hear a click from the tube and there's the prey right in front of me.

GlennaJo says I'm too smart for my own good because I'm supposed to concentrate on the light instead of the "pointer." She says it means she has to be extra careful I never accidentally look it in the eye. She says its stare is even more dangerous than a cat twice my size! As if I'll ever meet such a creature.

Of course, the play with the prey turned into a photo shoot. (Can I retire from my job as corporate asset?) [No, you're irreplaceable.]

Actually the shoot was pretty funny. GlennaJo would wave the tube a little and then disappear behind the camera. Of course, that left nothing but the camera to look at. We played that game for a little while. Finally, I got tired and made like I was looking around for the silent prey until she got tired of taking pictures and left me in peace.

IMPORTANT: Laser pointers can be very dangerous. You must NEVER point one right at your pet's head or allow your pet to look directly at the light source. We keep ours in a drawer except when playing and GlennaJo is very careful to be aware which way it's pointing at all times.

I've really got GlennaJo going tonight.

She set me on the couch next to her and I didn't really want to be there, so I just sat and stared at her. For 10 minutes. At first she kind of tried to ignore me, but I just kept staring. Then she tried to act like a cat, blinking slowly and not quite looking right at me, but I just kept staring. She asked me what I had to say, like I would resort to a communication method as crude as human speech. But I just kept staring.

Finally I got bored and went to sleep on another couch. The alleged princess ended up next to GlennaJo instead. She can have that room filled with loud TV noise as far as I'm concerned.

I just wish GlennaJo would look at bit more disappointed about the change.

We got up late and then took a long nap. I'm glad some of my better habits are beginning to rub off on GlennaJo.

She's also learned some of the rudiments of eyelid communications, although she definitely doesn't understand the finer nuances. One thing GlennaJo definitely does not understand is the concept of personal space. She's always hugging me, kissing me, carrying me around and generally getting in my face. Just now she reached over to where I was peacefully sleeping, rubbed my belly and said, "fuzzy belly."

Speaking of the meaningless things humans say, I could go on and on. Here is just a small sample of my "nicknames," none of which adequately describes the true majesty of me: buzz, buzz catgrin, bear, bear kitten, beast kitten, and snuggler (gag).

Just because she can't pronounce or understand the true name my Mother gave me is no reason to call me all this junk.

Chats
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Squirt
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